Me, the girl who’s still sick

I took for granted many things-
breathing in the sweet scent of dreams in my sleep
breathing well at all
hiking up a mountain with the only force stopping me be my laziness
wondering when class will end out of sheer boredom-not because I’d hacked one too many times and now, stifling my breath
studying in a library
going anywhere quiet really
eating ice cream and yeah, it’s bad for your health yada yada-not that the chill that slides down my throat will summon the demon to a cough that feels more like suffocation
singing in a choir year round
having the tender skin on my nose intact
being nervous for a presentation, that i will sputter on a word-not sputter on a breath that leaves me spitting up my dignity right there on the floor


now i put more water in my body than air that can manage to trickle through my bronchial tubes i
open my mouth like the good girl i’ve been taught
when my nose says no but the
cold air punctures my throat and with each gasp i ask
please take my breath i
long to breathe no more

on month three


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